I admit it, I buy into the Mother's Day hype. But if we're going to be honest here, what mother doesn't want to be recognized and appreciated for doing what she does every day? Every day should be Mother's Day, sure, but our kids and spouses sure don't behave that way most days. We need a day to be set aside for those who are Mother Appreciation Challenged.
Warning! Warning! Warning! Pettiness, whining, moderate ingratitude ahead!
I rarely, if ever get a gift (let alone recognition from the spouse) on Mother's Day. It's just something I've become resigned to. I know, I know… It's really not about the gifts. It really isn't about the gift for me, in spite of the words I spout out next.
Well, maybe it's a little bit about the gifts, just little, but the gifts I really want are the homemade cards, pictures, and art class projects that the girls make themselves. When it comes to the Spousal Unit, it would be great if the thought that the children put into Mother's Day, that much love and care and thought were put into the day without excuses for not "having time" to think about it in place. Even just a simple card or a few spoken, "Hey, you're a great mom to my kids… happy Mother's Day sweetie!" rather than a, "Oh yeah, Happy Mother's Day honey" as an afterthought. That's it. That would make a perfect Mother's Day. What would make it a la mode? If said spouse decided to spend the day with you and the kids rather than go off doing whatever it was he wanted to do in spite of what you told him you wanted (ie. Spending time together as a family). Mother's Day shouldn't be about grandiose plans and flashy tokens of appreciation. It can be simple, classy, thoughtful, and enjoyable without it being the hugely commercialized monster that it's become in the world of retail.
It's tough not to seem all grabby and selfish if you're not happy with how your Mother's Day turned out, even if the spouse made a lame attempt at honoring you. The simple act of wishing things had been a little different makes you look like an unappreciative harpy, so you end up refilling your wine glass at your own mother's house because your spouse couldn't be bothered to come with you and the children. You lose your appetite at your in-law's because the "reasons" you use to explain the spouse's absence sound hollow and lame to your own ears as much as they do to everyone else. What was supposed to be family time becomes times to seethe and stew in Mother's Scorn, until someone tries to help you feel better by saying, "But at least you got to see your own mom and your kids got to see all of their grandparents and cousins." Yeah, at least.
That's not to say I don't love my own mother, mother-in-law, and my grandmother. That's not to say that I don't love and appreciate all of the mothers I know in my life. I do. But I want to feel appreciated in my own home, by the person who helped me become a mother. At least.