Friday, February 03, 2006


I adore Manny beyond belief. He's definitely the love of my life. But COME ON dude, quit jerking me around!

I've been having Unrequited Baby Love, if you want to be updated just scroll down and there's a whole post (actually there are a couple) all about it. Including the post confirming that my paranoid ass thought I might be pregnant despite having an IUD.

Manny was relieved. He's just soooo not willing to have another baby. He knows how I feel and hasn't been very sympathetic to it, and gets very defensive and negative when I talk about it. Which isn't often. Sometimes I just want to talk, I'm not trying to change his mind, but he's supposed to be my life partner and soul mate, so I should be able to talk to him about this, right? Except that he usually shuts down, gets defensive, and very adamant that he not only doesn't want a 4th child, but goes into all of the reasons I know we "shouldn't" have another. Logically speaking.

So what does he say yesterday? OK I told him that I was expecting the BFN, and I really was. I just wasn't 100% sure, so I needed the reassurance that the teeny part of me that wasn't sure could be eliminated. And yes, even though I fully expected a BFN I was still disappointed to be proven right. I told him so. And do you know what he said? "I was a little disappointed too." I was shocked, and I think he only admitted it because he had started planning in his head what we'd do if it actually were BFP and he mentally prepared himself for that What If. And he only admitted it because it WAS a BFN. So I asked him if that meant he's still opposed to having a 4th EVER... and he said "Not right now." "OK, so does that mean in a year or 2 you'd be willing to reconsider?" "I don't know, maybe. I just know that now is a bad time."


Bite me!

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