Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Housekeeping Ramblings

The table is completely painted, two coats and all, and it looks fantastic. I still have a desire to put tiles in the center section of the table, which is outlined with a groove on the outer edges of the table. But for now it looks great. It really does brighten up the kitchen quite a bit. Now I just have to keep the girls and cats from standing or sitting on it just because it's a novelty for the table to be (and stay) empty. The girls and even the cats were actually surprisingly good about staying away from the table while wet, and weren't even tempted to touch it. Of course, I was there with a strong reprimand ready in case they got too close. I'm still expecting to find cat feet all over the wood floor.

The kitchen needs a little more TLC such as fresh paint on the mud room door and the walls. I also need a couple of new kitchen gadgets since my toaster oven is five year old piece of crap and my food processor is close to fritzing out. Why, you ask? Because Mr. His Highness decides to take things apart to clean them.

Yes, he takes everything apart. He thinks he knows how to put things back together, but he really doesn't. At least, not how they were originally put together. He says it's to clean them.

  1. Proof #1 He destroyed my Hoover FloorMate that way. It didn't bother him because it was my $200 that he trashed. He's also responsible for the toaster oven. The glass door that slides up and down? Yeah, it's no longer appropriately fixed in place by the side bars and handle. It just falls apart without warning, clattering down onto the counter in pieces.
  2. Proof #2 He cleaned my food processor, but you can no longer see the speed of each button, or which buttons are for speed versus which are for pulsing. The food processor didn't work for three days after he cleaned it, which makes me wonder how much water he got into the mechanics.
  3. Proof #3 He takes apart the vacuum cleaner to clean it, and it doesn't work as well as it should. This vacuum is a Kirby and they're built to take a beating over a lifetime. When Mr. His Highness comes into the picture, a lifetime is actually 2 years. We now have broken parts that need to be replaced regularly.
  4. Proof #4 He washed and dried my cell phone through the laundry. I had to get a new one. Then he accidentally threw away the new one that replaced it.
  5. Proof #5 We never have a printer last for more than a year or two because he decides to what? You guessed it; he takes it apart to clean it. Then he wonders why it won't work again. He's not allowed to replace the ink, let alone clean the damned thing.
  6. Proof #6 He left the land line phone handset outside a few days ago after I asked him to bring it in with my purse (I'd been outside with the kids and came in to make dinner). It rained that night.
  7. Proof #7 We've had several box fans live and die in this house. Why? Guess. He takes them completely apart in order to clean the dust off of the blades and the grating. The grating comes off, the blades come off, and basically everything comes off. Everything.
  8. Need I go on? I could talk about past vacuum cleaners and kitchen appliances, but it would sound redundant.

The moral of the story seems to be to keep Mr. His Highness away from electronics, but the trick is really to keep him from taking them apart and beating them into the ground. He treats them roughly and callously, and then when they break accuses the manufacturer of making a piece of expensive crap for not being durable enough.

Now would be a good time to get outside because it's a gorgeous day, but it's 86ยบ. That means I'll have to put fresh water in the wading pool. Ah well, why not? They don't have good bathing suits any longer and we need to buy some that fit the girls properly but they have stuff they can wear while they're playing in the pool.

By the way, does anyone know where my downstairs phone handset is? I can't find the farking thing. I have my cell phone and the upstairs bedroom phone (which got left out in the rain a few days ago) but I can't find the downstairs phone. It's not working when I page it.

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