Higglytown Whiners

It's time for a rant.

Who thought up this farked up show? If you're not familiar with it, here's a rundown.

The premise of subject matter is supposed to teach children that every person's job is valuable to Higglytown in one way or another. There are trash collectors, artists, Pizza Guy, teachers, etc. The premise is great…. Until you add the fact that the entire town, Higglytown, is made up of people that are like those Christmas figure decorations that fit inside one another. You know, there's a large one, then a slightly smaller one fits inside, a slightly smaller one fits inside that one, and so on until you get to the smallest one. Cool enough for a holiday decoration, I guess, but freakishly odd for a children's program.

You have to then consider that the children whine like nobody's business. This, after they all already have wickedly annoying voices. "But if we don't have enough eggs, we'll never get to have breakfast!" Enter the farmer singing about his job raising chickens to lay eggs, and how important farmers are. But wait, that's AFTER some weird ittle girl imagines a really weird, far-fetched scenario that would make everything better. Every single time. And every single time the squirrel that babysits them (oh sorry, didn't I mention her before?) gently lets down Twinkle Fanny, or whatever her name is, with "Well that's a great idea, but it wouldn't work because the Abominable Snowman doesn't LIKE ketchup and mustard on his snow cones!"

So the weirdest thing about this show, other than spontaneously storing each and random objects inside themselves, is the squirrel. She talks. Granted, it's a cartoon for kids, but none of the other animals talk. And she speaks in a Minnesota accent. NO ONE ELSE in Higglytown speak in a Minnesota accent. Just the talking squirrel. Who babysits the kids and follows them everywhere.

The music, which is pretty much the same for every show, gets annoying, they just change the words depending on the job they're trying to promote. It's not even a catchy tune. It's one of those tunes that makes you want to gouge your ears with a serrated steak knife. I thought They Might Be Giants was a better group than that. That's another odd thing, I suppose… of all groups they could have had do the theme song and other created songs, they chose They Might Be Giants.

Just because you know I have to share the misery, here's a clip with Lance Bass as Mr Electrician, for Valentine's Day and singing about what it means to "pop the question."

SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?!? WTF DUDE?