Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Of Weighty Importance

I am taking control. It's official. There's no going back, because if I do, it'll be a waste of A LOT of money.

I joined a gym today, and I included babysitting in the membership so that I can bring Anneliese with me. I'm serious about this, and I'm GOING to do it. I can't quit. I can't back out. I am excited, motivated, and inspired. I am READY for this step. It's been far too long since I've worked out at a gym, and I've been thinking about it a lot for the past few months. I'm getting nowhere with my diet, which is actually pretty good. This way, I'll actually be burning calories and fat and toning, and I don't have to worry about weather, or at least I can't use weather as an excuse for not getting a work-out in. Well, if it's sleeting or a blizzard or hurricane, I can use it as an excuse.

I feel like a weight has been lifted. No, really, ha ha. I'll get out of the house regularly. I'll have a sitter guaranteed for Anneliese. I don't have to pack anything other than my keys and a change of clothing for Anneliese (if she wets her skivvies). There are almost limitless machines I can use. Water is available right there, instead of lugging bottles with me on a walk. I miss my pre-pregnancy body. I am tired of being fat. Wait, scratch that. I HATE HATE HATE being fat. I hate how I look, how I feel, and how fat limits my wardrobe. I hate hating myself, and I hate hating my body. I want to look good again. I want to look sexy again. I want to be happy with how I look. I don't gripe about it regularly, but it really is a major reason I think I'm still depressed. I know that naturally, the hormones released during exercise minimize depression, so that's another reason for doing this. I need to do this for my emotional health as well as my physical health.

It's just a good move all around. I'll try to keep a weight loss journal here, to keep accountability and motivation. My goal for the long term is 90 pounds. Anything additional after that will just be a bonus. I'm hoping to lose that 90 lbs within a full year. I think that's do-able and realistic. If it goes more slowly than that, then I have no issue with adjusting the goal down the road. I am going to have mini-goals of 7.5 lbs per month. That means 1.8 lbs per week in a 4-week month. It's considered healthy to lose 2 lbs per week, so that works out and gives me some leeway when I get to each 3-month mark for adjusting goals.

Tomorrow I have an appointment for an orientation with a personal trainer at 10 am. I'm going to make the most of it, and start working out Wednesday. During the orientation, I'll see about figuring out how often I have to make sure to get into the gym… I'm going to hesitantly say a minimum of four times per week.

I'd ask you to wish me luck in losing weight, but instead I'm going to ask for a prayer (or positive thoughts) for the strength and determination to stick with this and get results. I have to stay focused, determined, inspired, motivated, and willing. Please pray for that for me.

1 comment:

Julie said...

Done! And you are going to LOVE your time to yourself at the gym. And you're going to start to depend on it and get pissed off when life gets in the way and you can't go! It will no longer be a chore it will be a blessing in your life. That is my prayer for you.