I am taking control. It's official. There's no going back, because if I do, it'll be a waste of A LOT of money.
I joined a gym today, and I included babysitting in the membership so that I can bring Anneliese with me. I'm serious about this, and I'm GOING to do it. I can't quit. I can't back out. I am excited, motivated, and inspired. I am READY for this step. It's been far too long since I've worked out at a gym, and I've been thinking about it a lot for the past few months. I'm getting nowhere with my diet, which is actually pretty good. This way, I'll actually be burning calories and fat and toning, and I don't have to worry about weather, or at least I can't use weather as an excuse for not getting a work-out in. Well, if it's sleeting or a blizzard or hurricane, I can use it as an excuse.
I feel like a weight has been lifted. No, really, ha ha. I'll get out of the house regularly. I'll have a sitter guaranteed for Anneliese. I don't have to pack anything other than my keys and a change of clothing for Anneliese (if she wets her skivvies). There are almost limitless machines I can use. Water is available right there, instead of lugging bottles with me on a walk. I miss my pre-pregnancy body. I am tired of being fat. Wait, scratch that. I HATE HATE HATE being fat. I hate how I look, how I feel, and how fat limits my wardrobe. I hate hating myself, and I hate hating my body. I want to look good again. I want to look sexy again. I want to be happy with how I look. I don't gripe about it regularly, but it really is a major reason I think I'm still depressed. I know that naturally, the hormones released during exercise minimize depression, so that's another reason for doing this. I need to do this for my emotional health as well as my physical health.
It's just a good move all around. I'll try to keep a weight loss journal here, to keep accountability and motivation. My goal for the long term is 90 pounds. Anything additional after that will just be a bonus. I'm hoping to lose that 90 lbs within a full year. I think that's do-able and realistic. If it goes more slowly than that, then I have no issue with adjusting the goal down the road. I am going to have mini-goals of 7.5 lbs per month. That means 1.8 lbs per week in a 4-week month. It's considered healthy to lose 2 lbs per week, so that works out and gives me some leeway when I get to each 3-month mark for adjusting goals.
Tomorrow I have an appointment for an orientation with a personal trainer at 10 am. I'm going to make the most of it, and start working out Wednesday. During the orientation, I'll see about figuring out how often I have to make sure to get into the gym… I'm going to hesitantly say a minimum of four times per week.
I'd ask you to wish me luck in losing weight, but instead I'm going to ask for a prayer (or positive thoughts) for the strength and determination to stick with this and get results. I have to stay focused, determined, inspired, motivated, and willing. Please pray for that for me.