- Sticking crap up the nose.
- Sticking crap in the ears.
- Drinking soda after eating ice cream.
- Forgetting to charge the cordless phone.
- Stubbing your toe.
- Cutting your nails too short.
- Biting your nails.
- Cutting your own hair.
- Losing your wedding ring.
- Lying to your spouse.
- Forgetting to fill the tank with gas before it gets too low in the car.
- Drinking coffee too close to bed time.
- Playing with fire.
- Walking on hot tar barefoot.
- Scorching your good pots and pans.
- Burning popcorn.
- Hitting your sister.
- Shoving your sister down a flight of stairs.
- Cutting your sister's hair.
- Not wiping after you poop, and then not telling Mommy.
- Washing a red sock in your whites.
- Putting dish soap in the dishwasher instead of dishwasher detergent.
- Forgetting to put black Sharpie markers away when kids live in the house.
- Dropping the digital camera.
- Coloring on the walls.
- Painting the walls using non-washable finish.
- Throwing glass objects.
- Forgetting to check the washing machine for tissues or toilet paper.
- Forgetting to check the washing machine for a diaper.
- Letting your bathtub drain get clogged enough to completely plug the tub.
- Not having a plunger in every bathroom.
- Forgetting diapers at home when out for the day.
- Losing the TV remote.
- Spitting food.
- Showing your sister the chewed up food in your mouth.
- Painting the wall with peanut butter.
- Playing with yourself in front of other people in public.
- Telling your spouse that she could stand to lose some weight.
- Not paying the bills.
- Eating onions.
- Not brushing your teeth.
- Not brushing your hair.
- Cussing at your mother.
- Wearing shorts that are 3 sizes too small.
- Opening the door to strangers.
- Escaping outside without putting clothes on first.
- Ripping pages in library books.
- Smoking.
- Disobeying your mommy and daddy.
- Killing someone.
- Throwing knives.
- Eating something you're allergic to.
- Waving your arms around at bees or wasps or hornets.
- Taking medicine without Mommy's permission.
- Poking big dogs with sticks.
- Hitting people in the eye.
- Not waiting your turn to talk.
- Hiding food under the couch.
- Leaving the door to the bathroom open when you're peeing.
- Disobeying your teacher at school.
- Forgetting to use the bathroom before leaving the house.
- Bouncing checks.
- Maxing out your credit cards.
- Forgetting to flush the toilet.
- Licking doorknobs.
- Playing with guns.
- Screaming in someone's ear.
- Running stop signs and stop lights.
- Stealing stuff.
- Dropping the F*Bomb.
- Drinking and driving.
- Standing someone up.
- RSVP'ing "yes" to a party and then not showing up.
- Cheating on your spouse.
- Cheating on a test.
- Plagiarizing.
- Drinking sour milk.
- Walking around in shoes that are too small.
- Embezzling money.
- Picking your nose and eating it.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Very Bad Things To Do: Part I
Yes, I have a running list in my head of Very Bad Things To Do. Feel free to add to it.
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