I Think You Have To Be Drunk...

...to enjoy watching Alice In Wonderland. It's on right now, in the background. I've been listening to it, and at first didn't recognize it except to know that it was decidedly Disney. Then the "paint the roses red" song came on and I could tell it was Alice In Wonderland. I have NEVER liked this movie. Part of it was because I always thought it to be a rather cruel story, and none of the characters have any redeeming characteristics.

Even Alice, who just can't help but push her nosey little face into everything without being invited, following a rabbit whom she has no business following, getting him into trouble with The Queen of Hearts.

I mean, come on. "Off with her head!" and "Someone's head is going to roll for this!" Seriously, that Queen of Hearts is one vicious bitch! Maybe it's a combination of dissatisfaction with her beastly unfemininity and self-consciousness about her weight, as well as a royal sense of self-entitlement to do and say whatever she likes.

Not to mention the blatant immorality of virtually every other character in Wonderland. The Caterpillar. The Mad Hatter. The Cheshire Cat.

I'm sure if I watched the movie all the way through willingly and paid attention more, I could find something wrong with every single aspect of it. I really do find it generally disturbing, and I'm sure that was the intent of the original story. Even Disney couldn't put a Disneyish enough spin on it to make it truly positive and bubbly enough to minimize the saccharine annoyingness with happy, bright, choral of voices singing about Alice and her adventures. Seriously, listen to the end song... "how do you get to Wonderland" sounds as if it's about a girl who goes to a lovely fantastical lullaby land. It gives no indication that Alice is a little brat who runs away from her sister during a lesson, follows a fat rabbit who is running late, and gets into a load of trouble meeting some of the most unsavory characters in Disney history.

But I digress and go off topic. I've always found it boring to boot, and I don't think I could stand the torture of purposefully sitting through it AND paying attention to the entire movie. As a child, I used to think that it was because I needed a "more adult" sense of humor to appreciate it. Well, that's not the case. It's still boring, but I'm thinking it would be closer to fantastic if I were drunk while watching it.