"Come Pray On Your Porch With Me"

Buzzz!

Slowly open front door, while toddler and preschooler run around living room naked.

"Hi."

"Hello Ma'am. Do you have a moment?"

"Actually, no, I have to get my children dressed and ready for preschool."

"But this will just take a few minutes. I'd like to read a passage of the Bible to you."

Shrieks from the living room, giggles, then THUMP.

"I appreciate that, but really, this is not a good time. Thank you, but no."

"I understand, Ma'am. But if you just take a moment, even just on your porch. You can come pray on your porch with me as I read this passage to you."

Children running to the door to see what's up, starkest in the nekkidest sense.

"You know what, I really honestly don't have the time. I'm in the middle of something and I really need to go now."

Moves children away from the door, trying to gracefully ease nekkid girls into the living room and still maintain eye contact with "guests."

"I understand. I'd like to leave you with some literature and come back later."

"Thank you, but I really prefer not to. Please don't. Have a nice day though."

Closes door and locks it, chasing after children to get the hell dressed.

I'm assuming that the two gentlemen who knocked on my door, were poshly and smartly dressed to the nines in spiffy dark suits with shiny black leather suitcases that looked butter-soft were Jehovah's Witnesses. I have nothing against them, and in fact I really respect their dedication to their chosen path. But please, if I've repeatedly said "No, thank you, this is a BAD TIME and I have to go" and I've already said "I don't have the time and would prefer no literature" and you still try to shove something in my face and convince me to run later than I already am, then you sure as hell better believe that a door is about to be sharply closed in your face without an apology. I was honestly polite throughout the whole thing, but I also know my frustration was showing at the end. And somehow, I'm sure that I came off looking like a bad Christian.