I had a dream Saturday night that has stayed with me. It wasn't quite prophetic, in that while I knew all the people in it (family) everyone was "out of place." The surroundings weren't quite right. It was my Gramma's house, but it wasn't her house as it is in real life. We were all comforting my grandfather because my Gramma had just passed away, and we were there to help him sort through her things. Everyone was sad and upset, but then (in the dream) I saw her spirit and it was talking to me as if she were still alive. In the dream, I ended up driving home in the rain with the girls alone at something like 3 am. I have no idea why that was important but it was. Anyway, the whole dream was very eerie. Mainly because my wonderful Gramma is still alive. The dream has stuck with me and made me very sad, I just can't seem to kick it. The feeling of the dream is still very much with me, and I can still see the people and feel the atmosphere. I just want it to go away. But it's making me feel very nostalgic about my Gramma, and I want to call her and talk but it feels weird right now. I usually call her spontaneously during the week, but it would be weird for me to call and say "Hey, I dreamt you died and thought I'd give you a call."
It's almost 6:30 and I'm waiting for the UPS guy to pick up a package. Through troubleshooting online and with a customer service rep from Kodak, we figured out that my camera won't charge because there's something wrong with the dock. Since I've been consistently buying Kodak Easyshare stuff since I first started with a digital camera and they could see all of my purchases (I have an account online at Kodak and a gallery too) they know I'm a loyal customer and guess what? Even though my dock is past the warranty, they're going to show good faith and replace my dock for free!!! They could honestly have said "You have to buy a new one, you're SOOL" but instead, they're replacing it no questions asked and all I have to pay is shipping. Hey, I can handle that. $10.95 vs $75, hmmmm, whatever will I do? ;-) Anyway, I scheduled the pick up on Friday for them to pick up it by the end of the day today. I hope they get here soon, I'm anxious to be able to start taking my own pictures of the girls again.
Totally changing the topic, it's been freaking HOT out the last 2 days. I went out to grill some pork tenderloins around 5:15 pm and it was still so hot in the shade that I was sweating just standing there. Away from the grill. Hot hot hot, and not the pleasant or tolerable kind of hot. I mean, it looks pretty outside because of the sun, but there's no relief in the shade or from a nice breeze. It's just hot, and it's humid enough to almost feel sticky. Thank God for whoever invented air conditioners. That guy was a genius. Either that, or just really hot.
I don't know why, but the last couple days I've been feeling a bit... mmm... antagonistic and impatient towards Manny. It's like a detachment with a bit of annoyance thrown in. Then in the next instant I just want to hug him and sit near him. I think I'm frustrated that he doesn't make more of an effort to talk to me and spend time with me when he's home. I can handle him not being home much because of work, if he didn't work I'd have to, and the kids would be in daycare that we can't afford. It's when he's home, that HE seems detached. He's also gotten into the habit of being more negative. He used to be one of the most positive influences in my life, to where I'd be surprised at the positive spin he managed to put on anything. Now he sees the worst first thing rather than the best. I don't feel like I dislike him or hate him or anything, I don't even feel like we're disconnected. It's just this small nagging feeling that I could turn on him and want to smack him for any reason. I hope this feeling goes away, cuz I don't like it. I think it's time to make an appointment with my shrink, I've noticed that when I start to feel this way, it's because I've gone too long without talking to her. I really do love my husband, I just get these mood swings sometimes. There's an impatience of wanting him to be here so I can spend time with him, but also to get a break with the girls. I feel torn between wanting time with him and time alone. And when I decide I want to spend time with him, he's too busy catching up on other things or just playing video games. Ah well, I'll get past it. I have to.
On a positive note, a couple weeks ago I just put my foot down with Grace about consistently potty training. I told her that since she can do it and is choosing not to, that it was unacceptable. That she had no choice but to use the potty every time or she can't go to school this year. We've finally gotten to where she pees in the toilet every time, and we're working on poopies. Today, she pooped in the potty without being told! I'm so happy for her! She's soooo proud of herself, and she should be. When she sits to pee, she gets this sweet little grin on her face and her cheeks turn pink with happiness at what she's doing. Poor kid though, she's done with a Rx for an infection in her thumb (biting hangnails) so she's a bit itchy in her girlie parts. I'm thinking yeast infection. Luckily I bought yogurt last night, and she's been eating it by the truckload. Oh yes, and last night was a bad experience. She was up really late last night, still don't know why, but Manny had given her a chip. She came upstairs with me, ate the chip and decided to go back downstairs for another. On the way down, she fell halfway down the stairs and banged up her face. Her nose, right temple and right cheekbone are red and bruised. She's tender there today but the swelling isn't bad at all. I was so scared. I just remember the sickening thumping sound of her fall, and then her cry. I ran down the stairs to find Manny hugging her. I had her sleep next to me in the air conditioned bed room (mine) and basically dozed most of the night, keeping an ear open in case she started to throw up. She's fine, but easily weepy today. :-(
And now I'm going to see what I can do with the girls before bed. Anneliese is being a pip today, and she's tired early tonight so I think it's getting near bed time for her.