Mother's Day Wish List

What I'd Like for Mother's Day, REALLY

No jewelry because I can't wear it unless we go out and, oh yeah, what's "going out"?

No cook-ware or vacuum cleaners because I already cook and clean ENOUGH thank you.

No trinkets or figurines or breakables. If you saw my house you’d know why. Anything breakable is packed away and our decor is Exploded Toy Store Icon Chic.

No day at the spa because Daddy is just going to call because he can't find the keys/clean cups/clean dishes/bath soap/new pack of wipes/clean diapers/remember the next feeding time/find the poison control number/find clean changes of clothes/figure out which size clothing goes to which kid/etc. and I'll have to come home after (almost) 2 hours anyway. That’s not a day.

Same for that massage certificate. See above.

Might as well forget the flowers too. And the card. The kids usually try to eat them. Yes, including the card.

Dinner? You're kidding right? He can make a really great pitcher of iced tea and tear up a nice fresh (I think) head of lettuce with olives. I'm not sure he'll remember dressing.

Oh, you meant GO OUT for dinner? Who's nutty enough to watch my kids? What? Bring them? Have you MET my kids? This is I-Love-To-Throw-Food and that is I-can't-stop-crying-as-long-as-my-Mommy-isn’t here. Oh, and that one is I-love-to-scream-just-for-the-sake-of-screaming-it’s-fun. Besides, didn’t you see my first statement?

Sleep in late. Uh huh. Good one. I won't even dignify that one with a pretense of a request.

Hmmm? Cleaning the house for me? How sweet! As long as you’re all right with 3 little faces tagging along and "helping" you "clean" while in actuality they’re making the disaster a thousand times worse. But you’re welcome to try. I do. 800 times a day.

A box of chocolate, um, well it's been 5.5 yrs since the first one was born and 12 mos since the last one was born and I still look 7 months pregnant. Thanks for remembering I love chocolate, though.

I haven't had my nails done in what, 5 years? There's a reason. I can't get the darn diapers on right or open that ungrateful can of Pepsi properly...yeah, you know what I mean.

Hmmm, a night of romance. We've already questioned the sanity of people who'd watch our kids during the DAY...and I don't think the hotel staff runs a babysitting service. And I'd rather not have to lock the bedroom door, I can't be romantic if the kids are banging on the door all night. Besides, that’s what got us in this predicament in the first place. A night of romance.

A picture of the kids in a frame....ya know what? I see them 24-7, probably won't get much chance to look at it anyway. I'm just going to end up sending it to work with the husband to put it on his desk. But go ahead and see if you can get them to sit still long enough to take that picture. Oh hey wait, if you CAN get them to sit still I suppose I don't actually know what they look like sitting still...I think we have a winner folks! But if that shouldn't work out (and we know how it will work out) .............

Just a hug and a Thank You from the kids and the hubby would be enough. It'll have to be.

Thanks for the thought though. That's what matters most (or so I'm told).