OK I think I've calmed down a bit. I'm still feeling a bit anxious about having applied for a job today, but I feel good about it too. And it's something we really need.
I'm just so happy that the weather is getting nicer every day now. I can leave the kitchen ceiling fan on and open windows, and leave the porch door open. I can take the kids outside to play or go for walks. And I FEEL like going outside, which is new for me since the PPD hit me. I haven't WANTED to get up and move around, so this is a new feeling for me. When I lived at my parent's house, I used to go swimming and walked all the time with my mom or with friends in addition to all the walking I did while still going to college. There weren't any buses to get across campus. And until we moved, we belonged to a gym. I never realized how much I'd miss working out with weights and using the treadmill. As soon as Manny gets home tonight, I plan on getting out for my first real walk. Alone. I'm actually excited about it. I'm hoping it'll help with my anxiety issues, because it used to. I could just zone out and think about nothing or everything. I clocked a mile and then I clocked 1.5 miles on the odometer in the car, so I have an exact idea of how far I need to go for the walk to be productive.
Hmmm maybe I'll let the kids and Manny fend for themselves on dinner tonight... or just go when they're eating dinner. If I stick to the soup I wanted to make then that'll be perfect all around.