Monday, August 08, 2005

Buh Bye "Vacation"

As of this morning, my (I mean OUR) so-called vacation was officially over. We spent a lot of time just relaxing and doing nothing, at least as much "nothing" as three kids will allow. Manny spent a lot of time putting up sections of our new fence, which still has several sections to go... and we spent a lot of time cleaning up. We did take the kids to Mystic Aquarium and Chatfield Hollow.

I feel almost rested, but would've loved going away for a while. I think the "rested" part only comes into play because I didn't make it a point to go all house-keeper this past week LOL... and the Paxil is working well for me.

I'm even starting to feel a little motivated to make some curtains for the house. Most of our windows have mini blinds that were here when we moved in, but they're getting old and brittle and there aren't any curtains over them. The previous owners left us the lace curtain on our dining room window and the French door in the dining room, but they left some hideous things hanging in our kitchen too LOL. I think it'll add a nice homey touch if I can put up something pretty and fresh... but we need some fresh paint up on the walls too. I'm trying to convince Manny to let me get nice borders for the living room and dining room because, well, I think those are nice too LOL. More than anything, I want some pretty curtains up in the girls' rooms. I want a house that's comfortable to look at, not just lived in.

Hmmm... how about some mundane? One of the kids somehow lost my brand new Mary Kay moisturizer bottle. The cap is too tight to open, so I'm not worried (yet) that it was opened and spread all over stuff, plus if it WERE opened and spread all over stuff Grace would have smeared it all into her hair by now. How the heck did they lose it??? My living room is riddled with cooking lids right now, and I found a nice chunk of banana on the floor. How, you ask? I stepped on it. With bare feet. Urp. I hate bananas. Now I hate them on my feet too LOL.

That brings up something funny Juliana said. I forget sometimes that she's only 4 y/o (5 next month! OMG!) so she asked me a question one day where the answer included something about "bare feet." She sat on that one until the next day when she suddenly started insisting on wearing shoes at all times. I asked her why she was doing that, and she told me "Because I don't want to have bear's feet... I like them just the way they are!" I really cracked up about that one.

I just found out today that Juliana starts Kindergarten on August 30th. Holy freaking cow, how is it that I have a daughter who is old enough to go to Kindergarten? How can my baby be old enough and ready??? There's no hint of baby left in her except when she pretends to be a baby or she wants some extra sugar. She's having some anxiety about starting school but seemed relieved when I told her I'd follow her school bus the 1st 2 days. She's also afraid of getting lost. I reminded her how she felt when she started preschool vs. how she felt in the last week so she sort of understands that while she might get nervous or scared or even a little bit lost, it won't last long. I just hope she doesn't see the abject terror and anxiety in my own eyes. How do I let my baby on a bus that I'm not driving? How do I let her walk away from me like that? At least with preschool (when I had my own set of anxieties and 1st-day blues) I was dropping her off, picking her up, all at her classroom door. OMG how can I let her take the bus??? This is soooo different than preschool... what was I thinking? LOL I have anxiety when my own husband drives the kids without me in the car... heck, even when I'm in the car I feel better being the driver when the kids are in the car. I was never like that until we had the kids, being the one to have to drive. He thinks it's a control issue but I think it's more of a Mom issue LOL. I guess I feel like if I'm the one driving and whatnot that somehow they're safer, and like I'm the only one I can truly trust to make sure they get to their destination safely. I know that's not true... but it IS true, KWIM? Oy this can really make a parent go mental LOL.

"At least" I have until next school year before sending Grace to preschool when it all starts again. And I have a few years before Anneliese has to go. I just realized that each of my children is in a completely different stage now... a school age child, a toddler, and an infant. ***sniff sniff*** Now I'm going all emotional. {{{Sigh}}} I think it's time to go look at some preschool art projects ;-)

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