Monday, December 03, 2007

Very Bad Things To Do, Part IV

  1. Use 5 different Pull-Ups for one bowel movement.
  2. Take Mommy's NEW make-up out of her pocket-book to play with it.
  3. Wipe from back to front.
  4. Bite your sister.
  5. Playing with a knife after Mommy just told you to leave it alone.
  6. Eating too many olives in one sitting.
  7. Walking outside to follow your big sister when Mommy said to wait, because there is an inch of ice on the ground and you might slip. And then you go out anyway and fall down the stairs before Mommy can catch you.
  8. Touching the toaster oven right after Mommy said not to because it's very hot.
  9. Not waiting to touch the bread loaf pan as soon as it comes out of the oven even though Mommy said not to touch it.
  10. Pulling gems off of your shirt that were glued there.
  11. Taking boots off without being careful, and having your needs-to-be-done fingernail rip off in the middle.
  12. If you're a cat, don't wake Mommy up at 3:30 in the morning because you're freaking hungry and already ate the kibble that was left out for you. Mommy will not be happy and will henceforth lock you out of her room at night.
  13. Telling your father that you think he was too rough handling one of your children, or you'll get ignored at the next several family functions with glares hurled at you for not apologizing for thinking he was too rough with your kid.
  14. Getting toasted bagel crumbs in your bra.
  15. Wearing flip-flop slippers outside when it's only 29ยบ out.
  16. Spraying Febreze scented spray in the air until the floor gets wet from it. That's just TOO MUCH SPRAY.
  17. Losing one mitten from two separate sets of mittens, and then getting upset because somehow, you have two left mittens and can't find either right mitten.
  18. Banging your parent's bedroom door back and forth trying to break the chain lock off of it because you don't believe your mother when she says there aren't any bandages in there.
  19. Hitting your damaged finger with the fingernail that's hanging on by a string on a hard surface. Ouch. OMG ouch ouch ouch.
  20. Forgetting to take your 5 yr old to her 5 yr well child visit.

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