Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Just Shoot Me Now

You know, I don't need this stress. I don't. I don't need to worry that we don't really have a leg to stand on with this oil company crap. I don't need the Department of Consumer Protection telling me "I'm not a lawyer, but I don't think you can get out of the contract without paying the penalty. I don't know about those statutes. Oh, BTW, Kasden is in/has been in litigation with over 250 separate recent cases."

That really brightened my day.

So anyway, the guy at DCP tells me after seeing all of the litigation they're in that he's looking a bit deeper at Kasden now. There are tons of complaints on Kasden all the time, apparently. We're the first to bring up the nature of the contract, though, which is probably why Kasden seemed so confident this morning when they called me.

Although their confidence could stem from something else as well. When Manny signed the letter and stuck it in an envelope, he included a Zerox copy of the original contract. When he came home tonight, he decided to look for the contract to make sure it was in a safe place. Well, it's either in a REALLY safe place or he lost it because he can't find it. There's one other frustrating consideration: that he mailed the original copy to them with the letter. And maybe THAT'S why the sleazeball I spoke with this morning sounded so confident. It's possible Kasden Fuel now HAS the original copy of the contract and tried to fill in the blanks, so to speak, and backdate it.

I'm really quite upset about this possibility. But my mom reassured me that if Kasden tried to "correct" the contract using our original copy, that would get them in a whole mess of trouble because that would be illegal. We still have proof because we faxed the original copy to the State Prosecutor for Housing and Development as well as the other Attorney with the state that I've been mentioning, and thankfully, those faxed copies are date and time stamped.

I'm VERY frustrated with Manny over this, even so. I know he's frustrated and stressed and upset, but so am I. He's not going through this alone, but acts as if he is and then takes it out on me when I'm the one trying to fix this God-awful mess. He actually just called me from his night job to apologize. So that's good. But you know, and maybe I sound ungrateful since I get to be a SAHM, but this is my blog and since I'm throwing a hissy fit, I'm going to do it in style. Yes, I'm a bitch, but you knew that when we got to be friends. If you're related to me, then you already knew I was a bitch before I did.

So on with my hissy fit. I married him in good faith. I had children with him because I love him and knew we could provide for them. He INSISTED that I stay home with them. Now, we need the money and I'm looking for something that will allow both of us to work, but not have to rely on daycare because frankly, we can't afford daycare. But no one wants to work with the hours or pay that I'd need to make going back to work worthwhile. So in that instance, he's supposed to be providing for us. I've trusted that he would provide for us when I'm not working. Part of what's screwing us over is the fact that he lost the job that our mortgage was based on when we had been in this house for less then 2 weeks. When he took his current job, it was at a decent enough paycut that we've been relying on our savings, which are now officially gone as of the weekend before last. He's not getting enough hours working at Lowe's at night either. When he budgets for bills, money is coming out of groceries. He's giving me less money to get groceries and household items (toothpaste, shampoo, toilet paper, etc) and on top of that, is forcing me to stretch grocery shopping between THREE WEEKS rather than just two weeks.

This is not working. I feel like I'm being stretched to the limit, and I'm drowning. I can't do what I need to do to help contribute financially, and he's holding that against me. I'm behind him every step of the way, supportive more than he has any right to expect... and he doesn't see it or appreciate it. He thinks he's alone in this stress and worry and he's not. He's convinced that he's not only the only one doing anything financially, but the only one "doing everything around the house too."

Oy, my head hurts and my shoulders are tense. It doesn't help that I just want to go to bed, because I kept waking up last night feverish. Today, I've been congested and nauseas. As soon as I finished the call with Kasden this morning (go see my last blog entry) I started having tummy troubles and have been hitting the porcelain god regularly ever since.

Please, girls, got to bed so that Mommeigh can have a good cry, watch her soaps, have some chamomile tea, and take an Atavan.

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