Friday, December 22, 2006

Kids And Why They Shove Crap Up Their Noses

No, I don't have an answer to that... why kids like to shove crap up their noses. It occurred to me just now as I pulled the most recent treasure out of Anneliese right nostril that I haven't shared the joyous situations that have occurred recently.

This is just one of the little things about parenthood that keeps you on your toes, and forces you to realize that even the Most Perfect Mom In The World couldn't keep certain things from happening. That parenthood is full of surprises, even the little stereotypical things like, well, kids shoving crap up their noses.

You never actually think it'll happen until it does. Mainly because you just never know when your child will develop an interest in stuffing things in to holes, and you never know when your child will discover their nostrils and decide it would be a good idea to see what might fit in them.

In the past month, Anneliese has discovered that it's fun to stuff things into other things, especially when they fit. For instance:
  1. Rolled up toilet paper fits really well into keyholes.
  2. Q-Tips really do fit into the ear canal.
  3. washcloths can be shoved up into the bathtub faucet.
  4. silverware slides down nicely behind radiator covers.
  5. an entire roll of toilet paper clogs the toilet quite nicely.
  6. cereal fits inside certain gaps in toys

It's been interesting coming across stuff crammed into other stuff, and your first thought is "Huh, how did THAT happen?" and your second thought is "Oh, Anneliese was here."

Last week she discovered that she has nostrils. It's been even more interesting. Last Monday, Grace decided to share a stalk of celery with Anneliese. Shortly after, Anneliese comes to me worried and crying, telling me "My noe! My noe! Fix it!" Her poor little nostril was stretched out, and I saw green poking out. Of course at first I thought it was a booger until I pulled out small, slender pieces of celery and celery leaves. I had to make sure I got everything, and as soon as I declared her nose clear, she grinned and ran away.

A couple of days later, she pulled a tiny, round rubber heel grip off of a toy. You know, the little disk that keeps figurines and other items from slipping on hard surfaces. I took it away from her and threw it away. She comes to me an hour later crying and worried, "My noe! My noe! Fix it!" I look inside, and don't you know the little stinker went into the garbage when I wasn't looking and shoved the damn thing up her right nostril. I couldn't get it out, so I ran upstairs to grab my purse, shoes and glasses to take her to the pediatrician. Once we got there and were seen, the dr says "Is it possible she sneezed it out? Unless she inhaled it, her passages are clear. Just keep an eye out for oozing just in case." So basically, nothing was pulled out during that visit. Later on as I was getting dinner ready, I came across the little rubber disk on the floor, in a tiny pile of mucousy boogers. It was a very relieving discovery. She must have sneezed when I ran upstairs to get my stuff.

Finally, just a few minutes ago, Anneliese came to me yet again, worried and crying "My noe! My noe!" Wouldn't you know, she managed to shove some of the Christmas Tree garland in there? It's a gold-stranded thread with little sparkly "tags" hanging off it. She pulled some of them off the tree and realized that they were small enough to fit into her over-used right nostril and then couldn't get it out. Plus it was scratchy and irritating.

So, if you have any insight as to why kids love to shove crap up their noses, I'd love to hear it.

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