Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Fat, Fat, Go Away!

I'm still sticking to my non-diet diet, and doing well but it's soooooooooo slow going. I know I'm making progress, even without a scale, because... uh don't laugh. A couple weeks ago I bought new skivvies and I made sure I bought them a little snug so that they'd be uncomfortable, and I'd be motivated in yet another way to stick to my diet. Who wants a whole drawer of skivvies that are too tight and too small? Well, I realized on Monday that they weren't so uncomfortably tight any more! WHOO HOO! And no, it's not from stretching them out. So there. This whole losing weight thing is just so frustrating and disappointing because honestly, I'm one of those people who loves and enjoys immediate results. Especially with losing weight. We're talking about someone who Before Kids could simply decide to lose weight and could as the situation warranted. But then again, I was never this heavy before kids either.

Today, my best friend for the past 21 years had gastric bypass surgery. I wish I could have visited her, but with Manny working and no one to watch the girls, I can't go. Her husband said the surgery went well, and she was sleeping both times he called, so I'll probably call her tomorrow to see how she's doing. I hope the surgery does for her what she wants it to do, and no, it's not just for weight loss. It's not my place to publicly post why, only that if you're the praying kind keep her in your prayers or thoughts that she recups fast from the surgery and that it does what we hope it will do for her.

I'm sure it's just because she had it done, and 2 other friends have had it done within the past 2 yrs, that I'm even thinking this, but I've been thinking "What if I did it? Could I tolerate the lifestyle change? Is it worth it?" A year ago I'd have said you were crazy if you told me that I was even thinking that. I don't know. I do know that Manny thinks I should consider it. That's a whole different issue. I posted about it on the BBC, let me see if I can find it...

Ah yes... this was from June 5th:
So Saturday night we were at my best friend's house for dinner, and I was joking with her that I if my insurance covered it 100% I should do it too. Well, apparently DH chose THAT comment to listen to when he'd been in a pissy mood with me all weekend and was ignoring me (I still don't know why) and Sunday night, he says innocently "You know, if you weren't serious about getting the bypass surgery, maybe you should be." I was a bit, well, shocked when he said that, and he kept dragging out a conversation about it! I felt like dookie! I mean, I've always eaten well, and recently I've been adjusting our diet so that it's really an excellent diet. Less carbs, more grains, more veggies... etc. HE'S losing weight because of it, but I'm not. Anyway, my feelings were pretty hurt and I'm not sure how to approach him again after this. He knows he hurt my feelings too. Yes, I need to lose weight and I'm working on it. Hard. He knows this.

So who says that to their wife? Oh yeah, the same guy who didn't get a birthday card or a Mother's Day card this past year, and blamed not even SAYING Happy Birthday or Happy Mother's Day on "being tired." He's a great guy but he's seriously lacking in the sensitivity department lately. So partly because of that, I'm probably considering the bypass surgery more than I would be otherwise. Which in my case, "as I've said, "otherwise" would be "not at all."

3 comments:

Jackie said...

Jess,

I hate to say this, but it sounds as though you need to put DH in check and get him on board with YOUR lifestyle choices. And point out to him the "forgetfullness" that caused you so much hurt, and point out that because your conscious decision he's losing weight and it will only be a matter of time before you do to, and point out that you have lost.

Their is nothing more frustrating in this world of Instant gratification that trying to lose weight. I am in the same boat as you. My "non" diet is working. I know it is. Its just as you said, not as quick as I'd hoped. But its something that I can live with, because I know it is better for me in the long run. It is my "own" diet plan that I can live with.

I really hope that you'd give YOURSELF a chance before considering what inconsiderate (sorry to be so cruel) thoughts your husband might say, and handing your health and body over to a surgeon!

Jackie

~Jessica~ said...

Thanks Jackie. In my darker moments, I think about the surgery, but I feel the same way about it that you do. I don't want the surgery, not really. What I want is results. I really don't want to change my entire lifestyle based on a surgery when what I'm doing really is working. It's great that the surgery option is there for those who really need it, it's just too, mmm... tempting? for people like me who get frustrated when we're not seeing the results we need.

AJ said...

Ugh! As someone who has been struggling with my weight for most of my life, I would love to punch him for even thinking that, let alone letting it come out of his mouth.

The next time he mentions you getting that surgery ask him if he'd still be happy three years down the road when you perchance could no longer absorb nutrients without liquid vitamins and liquified protein drinks, when you keep losing weight and can't stop it because your body just doesn't function properly anymore. Would a thinner wife be worth all that?

Grrr tell him to do his research before he spouts off on crap like that again. That surgery isn't all pretty roses for most people and you just don't do it unless, like your friend, there is a serious health problem involved where the benefits outweigh the risks.

OOOh I am fuming for you!

Keep up what you're doing, it may take patience but you know you'll get there the healthy way. :0D