OK, warning that this is going to be a very depressing post. If you're in a mood to cry and really don't want to read this, then pass on to the next post. I won't be offended. I've had these thoughts bouncing around in my head, but this is what I'm blogging and trying to get out of my head.
I have a very difficult time watching the news to begin with. I get so overly upset and emotional that I start to get depressed, imagining how easily that could have been ANY of us. I'm actually not "allowed" to watch the news alone already, so I've had to be very careful about what I watch this past week. (Hurricane disaster in Louisiana, New Orleans literally drowning) I've been having to limit myself to selectively reading articles, and even then...
Then the other night on the History Channel they had a story about the Apocolypse, and how all of the most recent wars and natural disasters are making ppl think that we're experiencing one of the Four Horses. I HAVE seen ppl who were interviewed in the wake of the hurricane who feel strongly about this. Now, I think about how it was a dream that a prophet had. And while I'm all spiritual and stuff I just can't bring myself to believe that God would feel a need to punish the world like that. That this prophet (I can't remember who it was, darn it) was just really pessimistic and that it came from his own thoughts and not from God. I can't believe that MY God would want all those innocent babies and children to suffer, or that He feels they need to be "punished" for the sins of the rest of the world. I can't believe that or I might start to believe that the Apocolypse is coming in our lifetime.
It just breaks my heart. There's so much I want to do and it feels like whatever we can do won't be enough. Looting? Rapes? Cancer victims? Fathers who have to leave the mothers behind to save the children? How can anyone do "enough" for any of the ppl who are suffering from the human disaster let alone who are unable to even try picking up the pieces of their lives from this natural disaster?
I have never been so grateful for what I have in my entire life. A good home, a yard for my girls to play in, my healthy daughters and my loving husband. Knowing where our extended family and friends are, that they're safe and sound. Food in the pantry and milk in the fridge. A soft, dry bed to sleep in. Air conditioning. I thank God every single day for being so blessed that I hope never to take it for granted again.